What do you feel when you hear the word “Change?”
If you’re in a situation that you don’t like, “change” is a welcome relief. If you’re in a situation that you enjoy, “change” can be discouraging – or even terrifying.
Either way, it takes us out of our comfort zones – and we like our comfort zones. We don’t like to admit it, because the internet is full of motivational quotes telling us how bad comfort zones are, and how great change is.
If we’re honest, most of us are comfortable in our comfort zones.
It’s like sleep. We might love the excitement and energy of each day, but we’re compelled to return to the comfort of a pillow every night. It restores us for something different tomorrow.
The key is to recognize that change is going to happen. Maybe not every day, but it’s coming. Someone said that at any point in time, we’re either in the middle of change, coming out of change, or about to go into change.
Change happens. We can fight it, or embrace it.
Which makes the most sense?
The 3 Stages of Getting Better
Whether positive or negative, change moves us away from one thing and toward something else:
- A healthy person can move toward disease, and a sick person might move toward health.
- A single person can get married, and a married person can become single.
- A wealthy person can lose their wealth, while a poor person can increase their finances.
We’ll address the negative side in another post. But what about moving forward? Why is it so hard, when the outcome we desire is so good?
It’s kind of like being in a boat that’s tied to the dock, but we really want to sail to Hawaii. A lot of people dream of the destination, but then think of all the things that could go wrong on the journey – so they stay tied to the dock.
Any trip that’s worth taking involves three stages:
- Leave the dock.
- Sail across unknown territory.
- Arrive at your destination.
In Stage One, we’re in familiar territory. It smells like fish and it’s noisy and we have the same routine every day. It’s definitely not like Hawaii, but it’s safe – because we’re tied to the security of the dock. It’s tough to leave, because we’re not sure what the journey will be like. The dock is a “known,” while the ocean journey is “unknown.”
The task here is to untie the boat, overcome inertia and start sailing. It’s not as safe, and it’s not as comfortable – but it’s where the magic begins.
In Stage Two, our senses are heightened. We’re much more aware of what’s happening around us, because it’s new and uncertain and risky. It’s not long before we forget about the dock we left, because we’re focused on meeting the current challenges of the journey.
Usually, two things happen in this stage:
- We realize that we actually have what it takes to meet these challenges. We’re facing situations we haven’t faced before, and it forces us to draw on our resourcefulness to deal with them.
- We start getting comfortable with our increased ability, and we come alive just a little bit. We’ve stretched – and survived.
It’s a long journey, and it’s new and different. But over time, it becomes the “new normal.” It actually turns into a comfort zone – but we’ve grown into it. Discomfort turns into comfort after we’ve done something for a while.
In Stage Three, we reach our destination. It’s time to celebrate and explore. Once again we’re leaving our comfort zone of the ocean, and making decisions about this new environment.
Most people never get to Stage Three because they’re afraid of untying the boat from the dock.
You know what’s interesting? These transitions from stage to stage seem like we’re making such a giant leap – but as soon as it happens, we quickly adjust to the new routine.
It’s the same as jumping into a cold swimming pool. We stick our toes in, and the water feels like ice. It’s warm outside the pool. We try to build up our courage, but end up sitting in a lounge chair and sipping something with a little umbrella.
Once we make the jump, two things happen:
- We feel the shock of reality.
- We adjust quickly, and within seconds the water actually feels warm.
Transitions are almost always scary, because they’re so different from our current situation. But once we enter the water, we realize that we have what it takes.
We just have to jump.
The #1 Resource for Handling Change
People resist change when they focus on what they have to give up, instead of focusing on what they’ll gain. So they stay comfortable. They’re not sure how to handle the next stage, because they’ve never been there before.
So, do you have what it takes?
Absolutely. You are the #1 resource for handling change in your life.
You have what it takes for each stage. When you jump into that next stage, you’ll find that the resources you need surface when you need them most.
It turns out that life is all about change. Sometimes, that change can be painful. Other times, it can be amazing.
Most of the time, it’s both.
What stage are you in right now? And where would you like to be?
The key to growth is to keep moving toward change. Whenever you do, the new stage will capture your attention more than the old stage. Eventually, you’ll find the future more interesting than the past. That’s when you know it’s working.
What’s the next step?
Untie the boat and set sail.
———————
Here’s an important announcement – and it involves you.
I’m starting a new journey myself, and it’s going to require a simple change. I’ve signed a contract with my publisher for a new book, and I’ve just started the research/writing stage. That takes an amazing amount of creative energy and focus, so I have to do a little pruning to make that happen.
To move into this next stage, I have to untie the rope to the familiar. So, here’s what it means for you:
- You’ve been receiving this blog every Tuesday for the past year, and I’m honored that you’ve chosen to join me each week. In order to have the bandwidth needed to write my new book, I’m going to switch to writing these blog posts every other week instead of weekly.
- As I’m writing, I’d like to involve you in the process. I’ll be using those bi-weekly posts to bounce around ideas that I’m writing about. It will be pretty much the same type of thing that we’ve been doing, but I really need your input. My thoughts will be just that – thoughts, not set-in-stone words. I’ll ask you to critique my ideas and share your thoughts about them throughout the journey. I don’t want to wait until it’s published to read your thoughts in Amazon reviews; I want to hear them while these ideas being shaped.
So, I’m untying the boat and setting out to uncharted waters – and I’m asking you to come along for the ride. I’ll give you more details in the next post, but wanted you to know where we’re headed.
The new book will be a lot more impactful with your input. Thanks for sailing along!